Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Actually Like

How’s your self-talk lately?

Be honest. Is it encouraging and empowering… or are you walking around with a heckler in your head?

For most of us, the way we speak to ourselves wouldn’t be acceptable if we said it to literally anyone else. And yet, we let it run wild. Judgment, criticism, guilt, shame—on loop. It’s no wonder we end up feeling stuck, exhausted, and like we’re spinning our wheels.

But here’s the thing:
Your inner dialogue creates your outer reality.
Thoughts lead to feelings.
Feelings lead to actions.
And actions, repeated, build your entire life.

So if the voice in your head sounds more like a bully than a bestie… it might be time to rewrite the script.

Affirmations Aren’t Fluff—They’re Frequency

Yes, I know. Affirmations can get a bad rap.

Some people think of those old-school mirror pep talks from SNL’s Stuart Smalley—“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” And hey, the guy had a point (and a solid hair part). But the punchline doesn’t land if your inner dialogue is calling B.S. the whole time.

If you’re repeating affirmations that don’t feel true—like “I am wildly successful” when your bank account says otherwise—you’re not broken. You’re just out of alignment. Your nervous system isn’t on board with the message. That’s okay. You can still get there—but you’ve got to start where you are.

And that’s where personalized affirmations come in. Ones that speak directly to your truth, your values, and the version of you that’s waiting to be invited to the party.

How to Write Affirmations That Actually Work

Let’s ditch the cookie-cutter mantras and make this personal. Here’s how to craft affirmations that hit home—and help you shift your energy from the inside out:

1. Quiet the noise.

Find a space where you can think without interruption—no phones, no notifications, no small humans needing snacks every five minutes. Just you, a journal, and your inner wisdom.

2. Tune into your desired state, not just your goals.

How do you want to feel? Not just “I want to lose 10 pounds” or “I want a better job.” Dig deeper. Do you want to feel calm? Clear? Loved? Energized? Empowered? Safe?

3. Visualize the version of you who already feels that way.

Really go there. See her. What does she wear? How does she speak? What choices does she make? What thoughts is she thinking on repeat?

4. Listen to her inner dialogue.

Write it down, exactly as she would say it. These are your real affirmations. They might sound like:

  • “I am grounded in my truth and steady in my strength.”

  • “I am learning to trust myself again.”

  • “The universe is conspiring in my favor, even when I can’t see how.”

5. Try them on.

Speak them out loud. Whisper them. Write them on your mirror. See how they feel. If they land with a sense of calm or clarity—keep them. If they make you roll your eyes, dial it back until they fit. You can always evolve them as you grow.

6. Practice, don’t perform.

This isn’t about faking it. It’s about forming a relationship with the version of you you’re becoming. Meet her with love and consistency.

Real Talk: Your Words Have Power

You are always affirming something with your thoughts. Might as well make it something that builds you up, not breaks you down.

Affirmations aren’t magic spells—but they are a powerful tool to shift your energy, rewire your beliefs, and reconnect with the truth of who you are. The more personal and embodied they are, the more powerful they become.

So be intentional with your words. Make them your medicine. Let them remind you of who you are and where you're headed.

Because you, my friend, are worthy of a life that feels like home inside your body, your mind, and your spirit.

And doggone it… people do like you.
(But more importantly—do you like you?)

Let’s start there.


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